I came in before my appointed time and was welcomed with the look that clearly seemed to say “what the hell are you doing here”, that hurt. I’m in the process of trying to once again understand myself and go through the explanations given by others. I fall through a lot of the cracks, I want to understand myself, I want to understand you and have you understand me back. I won’t force it, it’s not my privilege to do that. I ask for some patience though. I wish we could be friends. I know that I’m about as open as a brick but please, some patience.
I give you little reason to exercise understanding by refusing to open up. It’s not like with clams, oysters and other shell fish where all you have to do is add heat and pressure and they eventually open up. Heat and pressure force me to clam up further. If I had the resources I would leave and not come back to inundate you with my weird presence. Sometimes I feel like God wants us to learn something, maybe it’s me to learn something from you or for you to learn something from me. Maybe there’s someone else here that’s supposed to learn something from either you and or me, I don’t know.
What I do know is that I have become very sad around you and at our mutual location. It shouldn’t be like this for anyone but it is and I’m sorry. I hope you have a wonderful day despite being in close proximity to me.
Thank you for your patience,