Just Thinking

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With no education and little to no prospect of improving beyond the well-below-poverty-line I have little to no time to sit and just think.

I work almost all the time, nearing 40 hours a week, live with a malignant narcissist who likes to display for me their (amazing in their own mind) parenting skills of my child and threatens to kick me out if I don’t allow this psychological abuse of my child and me. I read every chance I get and every idea that I come up with that they are aware of to further myself is shot down because either it’s not suitable for my gender or my slacker self can’t handle the details required to be get ahead and yet I’m required to show improvement to get ahead because they’re tired “of having to babysit another adult”.

Right now I’m rereading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo series and getting ready to start Insurgent. Also, I’m trying to (when I get a moment) self teach myself about script/screenplay writing so that maybe, just maybe, I can get into writing for the movies. Wouldn’t that just blow everyone elses socks off (if I weren’t planning on using a pen/stage name to remain anonymous) when I make it ahead of what they had ever expected of me.

I think I’ll make a few of the characters question their sexuality or have sexual identity issues that they have to deal with either in their own minds or learn how to navigate the general public and field the questions and other complications that can come from not fitting only into the gay or straight.

In the mean time I try to deal with the sensation of being trapped in someone else’s ideals and being subjected to extreme deprivation of privacy, rights and privilege.

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