Feeling very lonely today. Doing research to try and help save a suicidal friend and get her into a place that could help save her life as well as living situation. I feel lost because I don’t know all of what I can do and that there are some pretty extreme limitations that are set on things I can do because not everyone who claims to have the same intentions are not always honest with what their real intentions are.

Feeling lonely because there are things and even people that I want but are unattainable. Love in all the wrong places and stuff like that.

When I see the rain I think of Rain, one of the unattainable in the sense that they are not going to let me in in the way that I want but I’m not willing to self destruct over it because of what I have depending on my very existence. Besides, if I destroyed myself I would get to see the rain or Rain ever again. I wish I knew what to do.


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