More than Me

I view family as a super important aspect in everyone’s lives. Unfortunately I’ve had a hard time with many things that I feel are unforgivable. Here is a partial list.

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  1. Defending someone who is trying to do or has done something that should’ve earned them a major jail sentence.
  2. Sexual Assault
  3. misrepresentation of information and deliberately throwing someone else’s family under the bus because you don’t want your family to look bad

example. a member of my family once tried to molest me (we were both adults) while I was trying to sleep on the living room couch. I tried to beat the crap out of them but my family allowed him to lock himself in their bedroom with them and no attempt at disciplining or allowing me to get law enforcement involved. They tried to make it sound like the person couldn’t have known or understood what was going on.Because they weren’t the ones who found themselves waking up to see the eyes of someone trying to violate them and I saw full understanding in his eyes, he knew what he was doing there’s several things wrong with this concept.

a. they protected a pervert
b. they made pretend that someone who is a repeat offender (not the first time this member had assaulted me or the family pets, yes they went for the dogs too)
c. he knew what he was trying to do so being caught with his hands trying to undo the snap on my jeans and the realization that I knew that we both knew what he was trying to do showed in his eyes
d. people who don’t understand what they are trying to do don’t run like he did. if someone doesn’t understand what they are doing they would be confused, not running into someone else’s room and then making sure that you have enough time to pretend that you don’t understand and then make pretend that you took care of it! He’s lucky the sheet was wrapped around legs because I honestly think I would’ve tried to cause permanent damage if not death.

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Just in case it hasn’t already been noted I don’t condone sexual assault. There are to many people who find themselves in a position of not being able to defend themselves from an attacker and unable to deal with what has just happened. This goes for both male and females of all ages and yes a man can be raped. Don’t tell me they can’t, don’t believe me then look up the definition of the term rape for the rules of wherever you live because it can be done and not all rape is like what’s seen in the movies.

This is just one incident from my life. I’ve been made the victim of sexual assault by family many times. I have little to do with my real family and have emotionally attached myself to people that I would love to have as family but I’m careful as to how far I go to be close to them. I now have a small child who is male. I will  and have already started his education as to what is appropriate for him to do and what is and isn’t appropriate for others to do to and around him. This is in part because of the fact that not everybody else around him behaves as is appropriate.

example. a young girl who used to live in the same apartment complex that I currently live in showed signs of being sexually abused and I refused to allow her to be alone with my kid because of it. She’s a little older and I should be able to expect a higher level of self control and mental cognition but she wasn’t always entirely reasonable and I didn’t trust it even though I didn’t have proof. This was me mostly going off of gut instinct and I later turned out to be right. I one time realized that she and my kid had wondered off and I didn’t know where they were. Her grandmother (later accused of sexually abusing the girl) finds them in the stairwell above her apartment and she’s already gotten my little boy almost naked and working on herself while teaching my little boy about he differences in anatomy and how they work, basically she was trying to teach him sex. The grandmother flipped out and I did as well. Her grandmother though actually started to beat the girl in front of me and I didn’t want my son to witness the violence of how she attacked this girl so I took my son home and got him an appointment with a therapist. That way I can get it not only noted what had happened but, gather resources from an approved source that would help me understand how to handle the situation that had just happened and how to deal with it in the future if something ever happens again.

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The family that the girl and grandmother were apart of were a mixed group. The grandmother hates religion and thinks it’s evil and the mother and father are very social in their religious group and will do almost anything to hide anything unpleasant from coming to light in their perceived circles. Both were willing to lie in favor of hiding anything they think would reveal the skeletons in their family closet.

The grandmother and the girl were linked to other children mentioning inappropriate behaviors directed at them by the girl on other occasions. That made my hair stand on end hearing from no less than two other families that they’d had similar situations with the same one kid but the only time anyone raised a red flag was against my kid and then denied any knowledge of the situations between their kids and that girl. That really gets under my skin; go after me and my kid but deny any connection between your family and the person that went after both our families. They knew that would make me look like I’m looking for a scapegoat, now I feel like the community scapegoat.

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Things will hopefully improve over time. I take my kid to therapy so that when something comes up or the therapist feels they see something I can take care of it right away. I’m trying to be the proactive parent and take the appropriate initiative in the rearing of my child so that no one feels that I’m trying to cover up something or make my kid feel like there is something wrong with him, which there isn’t but, people tend to treat abuse as if it were the abused fault even though they say it isn’t.

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