where has all my creativity gone

Creativity-pastels

In the last year in a half since moving back in with my now former roommate I felt a serious loss in creativity. I think it could be related to my losing my sense of freedom to create and explore artistically. Everything I’d tried to do that had anything to do with art incited a sense of personal indignation from them and they would have tirades about how I need to save my money and not spend it on things that won’t help me with my future. I stopped bringing out my camera, I hid my art supplies and later even threw them out, I wouldn’t even allow myself to browse the arts and crafts to prevent myself from being tempted and stopped taking figure skating lessons.

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Since breaking free of my narcissistic roommate; I called a friend and told them I had to get out the next day or I was checking into a hotel, I have still had a hard time trying to get my creative juices flowing again. I just feel like I’ve been creatively stifled for so long it’s like it’s all dried up.

To try and help with this I’m trying to pick back up some of the old habits that I used to have such as reading a lot and looking at really cool pictures. I need to start drawing on scratch paper so that maybe that can help re-stimulate the old sense of artistry. I miss just scribbling on random pieces of paper even if I didn’t keep the paper. I’ll have my kid help me to put something in the scrapbook that we’d started together. He’s doing a better job of healing than I am.

Maybe someday I’ll get that old creativity back and create something amazing.

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