refined narcissist

Hello fellow human beings. Please allow me to give you some informtion about myself before I go into todays situation. I’m an Aspie parent with an Aspie child. I have aspergers, panic disorder, anxiety, ptsd and dissociation disorder. My child has aspergers and anxiety, there is a possibility of other diagnosis but that’s hard to get others to do an effective evaluation. I live with a narcissistic aunt whom believes herself to be the smartest person she knows and that she’s such a better person whom functions better than me and is in her own mind a better person for my son than I’ll ever be; the fact that I’m the legal parent is just a minor complication.

My loving roommate decided to have a battle with me last night to prove she didn’t have to answer questions. What was the question I asked of her you ask? It was “What’s today again, is it Tuesday the ninth or something?” And the battle began. She starts eating her salad with exaggerated almost prehensile lip movements like some narly cow, she thinks she’s showing refinement and polish or whatever that was and refused to answer me even after my kid asked her to answer me. After the fourth time I asked her, I know what game she’s playing long before the fourth time asking her, she then tells me “doesn’t your phone tell you what day it is.” The fact that that’s not the point does not escape her, she just doesn’t want to have to act like a decent person, over the the question “What’s today?” She continues to play her ghosting game in front of my kid who is obviously stressed out by this dramatic display. I see his shoulders hunch over and his head droops forward as he internalizes fiercely trying to stuff his emotions so deep that he won’t have to deal with them. I wanted to put her through the wall for what she’s doing to us, over asking which day it was so that I could tell them what my hours for work the next day were.

Later that evening, past the bedtime she’s assigned for the both of us, I have a little family prayer with my kid and then sit next to him as he lays on his cot. We were discussing something about having our own place someday and how he wants a cat and to be able to move right now and other things. SHE comes out of her room and yells at us for talking and how he (my kid) needs ten hours of sleep but that he’s only going to get eight hours of sleep and that’s not good enough. Um, excuse me but, who’s the legal parent and guardian here? If my child is still awake and needing emotional comfort and to be reaffirmed as a valid human being being even if it was 2am then I’m going to do it. She needs to leave off, crap like that makes me feel like putting her head through a wall; I won’t put her head through a wall though.

She’s not worth the assault charge

She’s not worth the assault charge

She’s not worth the assault charge

She’s not worth the assault charge

She’s not worth the assault charge

As I internally scream and rage at her (which is exactly what she wants me to do on the outside to her) that way she can play the victim and I get in trouble for it. I’ll give her the argument, sometimes, but I won’t give her the raging and level of anger she wants so that she can take from me what matters most in the world, my son. She’s just a jealous witch, she would’ve loved to have been married and had children but, I believe the damage of her own childhood damaged her to much and she’s not able to work around it. It doesn’t excuse her behavior, it is common for people like her though, damaged in their own childhood so they damage others as retribution to their own damaged inner child.

The sooner we move the better, we plan on moving to Mississippi as soon as the school year is over, sooner if I can somehow swing it. Once we are away we can begin the healing process for my child and myself. Hopefully this time we will be able to make it work in our favor.

3 thoughts on “refined narcissist”

  1. Hope you find a way out soon! Narcissists are the worst.
    May I ask why you refer to yourself as the “legal parent?” Are you not biological? The reason I ask is because I get the notion that maybe your aunt is making you feel inferior for being a parent and is trying to diminish who you are and maybe refers to you as “legal” parent instead of just respecting you as the mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do it that’s way for a few reasons. One is that my aunt seems to think she’s better qualified because she’s got the degree, read all these good books, and all the time where as I have to go to work. She often has a great deal of influence over what goes on and in a deeply disconcerting way I do often feel like she’s trying to make me feel inferior. I honestly believe she had tried to sabotage my rights as the biological and therefore legal parent. It’s kind blowing, part of me believes she’s jealous because she has no children and part of me days it’s because she’s a narcissist and it is the nature of the beast to destroy others. I think I’ll make this idea another blog post some time after I’ve got thought my way through it.

      Liked by 1 person

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