narcissist vs. actual parent

Before we get into the meat of the matter allow me to introduce myself for those who might not be familiar with who I am. Hello, I’m an aspie parent of an aspie child. I have Aspergers, a form of high functioning autism spectrum disorder, as well as having PTSD, Anxiety disorder, Panic disorder, and disassociation disorder. My son is also an aspie, high functioning autistic, his case is undiagnosed because nobody that I’ve brought him to recognize what they are looking at because they are looking at things wrong. He also has anxiety and may have developed some of the signs of disassociation disorder due to the person of whom I shall describe in the situation below.

On May 4th my Narcissist/Aunt decided to surprise us by telling us over dinner (she’d made pizza, one of our favorites) by telling us that she’d made an appointment for my kid with her dentist and even paid for the visit (and how much it cost her). We both looked up at her in shock as she is proudly extolling the benefits of her particular trusted physician. I interrupted her with “you made an appointment for my kid, you’re not allowed”. She claimed that she’d spoken to me about making an appointment for him so that I could get his teeth cleaned because he has so many cavities and the like. I was momentarily confused as I tried to remember such a conversation taking place. The best I could remember is her being told by me on multiple occasions not to make appointments for my kid because that is a parent/legal guardian right and that she didn’t have that privilege. I’m not certain on her ever telling me about her particular dentist but I swear I’d never given her permission to make any appointments. Still feeling confused I told her “no you don’t get to make appointments for my kid” and my kid chimed in sounding hurt about how she didn’t have the right to make appointments for him. She started getting angry and even stood up so that she’d have to lean forward as she pointed at herself (to help show how I’m wounding her) and going on about how my kid and I had told her that he has cavities and didn’t I want to get them taken care of BEFORE the move. She brings up my being a parent and everything. She has me so worked up that I admit that I was planning to do that AFTER the move and she jumps all over that one as well. She then goes back to her room and you can hear her complaining, just not the exact words mostly tone and voice. Later she comes out and throws out the rest of the pizza and then starts literally yelling at us about how we’re making enemies and is that what we wanted and something weird about how your closest people aren’t always going to be able to help you that sometimes you need that enemy. She had my kid screaming and I nearly went after her physically.

She’s not worth the assault charge. The fact that she has just assaulted our senses and we are now on sensory overload and I want to just pick him up and run out the door into the night and never look back. We are both so angry and my kid is still crying as you can hear her yelling in her room. My brain is buzzing so I can hear that she’s yelling but that I can’t figure out what her words are. I wanted to go back to her room and beat down the door and climb in her face and set her straight on this bull of hers but I was able to think through at least part of the potential consequences. I would potentially lose control, she’d bring in the police and have my kid taken and me arrested and there’d be court involvement and more. I chose to bring myself down while watching my kid and then trying to talk to him. He wanted us to move out right then or the next morning, we could go and live in a hotel until we moved and stuff.

Instead I managed to keep a hold of things until we left. I was able to put us in a hotel for the last two days before the trip out and now we’re here. Though she did try to put her nasty little nails into us one last time in the form of making a report to Family Services, the Utah version of social services, stating that I never took my kid to the dentist or the doctor period. According to the timeline that the social services worker gave me as to when the report was made and the situation above I believe the report filed was linked to the situation above. I was able to prove myself in less than 24hr and have the case closed. We got the visit from the family services/social worker two days before we left for the hotel.

It takes a rare person to make me as mad as she did. Attempting to have my kid removed from my custody by filing a bogus report right before we fly out so that I would wind up homeless and without my kid is beyond reprehensible. I’ll explain that situation and our final flight to freedom in another post. Just thinking about the situation is exhausting on a sickening level for me. I’m going to reprocess the situations and work on coherently expressing how I feel the situations above, the May 4th event and the family services/social services situation played out in connection to each other.

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